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” I knew Rick was too much of a gentleman to let that one slide. I braced myself to argue my point. I went to the fridge and poured myself a stronger drink. “I know I haven’t seen a picture of you, and you know I would never ask you to send one. I really can’t believe that the men wouldn’t love to dance with you.” “It’s not that I think I am grotesque. I am just honest with myself. There are far prettier girls than me, and they have better bodies.” I took a large swig of my drink, having to force it past the lump of tears that had formed a painful barrier in my throat. I’d had self-esteem issue for as long as I can remember. Outwardly confident and outgoing, if not a little reserved. Inside it was a different story. My mind flashed back to the occasions throughout the night, times when I had felt so uncomfortable. People’s smiles and laughing felt directed at me. People staring, and me reading their thoughts; look how fat and ugly she looks. The feeling of wanting to get that good. You do know that it didn't cover up everything in back, don't you? I got a good shot at what Dad used to pat all of the time."With a grin Mom smiled, "And I miss those pats." I'm going to check the water and begin chores. There's some snow, so the girls may not come up."Mom left and came back, "I woke Millie and the two girls. Millie and Karen can make breakfast while Marita and I help with the chores. Let's get it done."Mom and I milked the three cows, and I fed the other animals while she was cleaning up. The stupid deer was up by where I was spreading straw bedding, kept goosing me with his head. If he keeps that up, he's either going to be food or eating at Bradley's and Summer's.As Mom and I walked out of the milk house, Rosita was walking up the driveway. She came to us and said, "Carmen is sick this morning, and Pedro has taken her to the hospital. One of the other ladies is with her and the others are fixing breakfast for the men." She joked a little, "We need more women. Too.
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